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Entries in etiquette (5)


Wedding Etiquette: Who Should Walk Me Down The Aisle?

My parents both divorced and remarried when I was young. I stayed really close with my dad but also grew close to my stepdad over the years. Now that I'm getting married,  I'm not sure who I should have walk me down the aisle. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. Who should I have walk me down the aisle?

In today's age of blended families, you have all the options in the world when deciding how to include special people in your wedding. Whether it's your biological father, step-father, adopted father, foster father, or best friend's father-- we say: if they were important father figures in your life, find a way to include them all in your wedding! Why choose just one of them to talk you down the aisle? You have two arms-- have them both walk you down the aisle. Of course, this is assuming that your two father figures get along well and can act like grown-ups. If this isn't the case, consider splitting it up so one dad walks you down the aisle and the other dances the Father-Daughter dance with you. Just make sure you communicate your intentions to both dads beforehand so there are no wedding day surprises. And of course, remember that at the end of the day it is your big day so don't worry too much about other people's bruised egos. 

Etiquette Question: Can I Invite my Ex?


Question: My high school sweetheart and I have been broken up for years. We've remained very good friends, and I'd like to invite him to my wedding. Thoughts?

Answer: The bottom line is that it's your wedding, so you can invite whomever you want. (And it's really not a taboo subject since Prince William and Kate Middleton reportedly invited their former flames to the royal wedding!) But before you start address an envelop to your high school sweetheart, I'd suggest that you really evaluate why you want him there. Was he an instrumental part in your current relationship? Then, I'd discuss the whole situation with your husband-to-be for his imput (it's his wedding too!). If he gives you the OK, then ask yourself if the situation were reversed, and your high school sweetheart was getting married, would you feel uncomfortable attending? (Think of all the people who would be there and might potentially make the joke that everyone thought it would be you two getting married.) If you can get through that and you truly feel like his presence is important, then go ahead and invite the ex.


Wedding Etiquette: Guest Dress Code?


Question: Can a bride specify what her guests should wear to their wedding? 

Answer: It is perfectly acceptable to give a general guideline for guest attire. If you want people to dress up, you can guide the formality by politely requesting black tie, semi-formal, or "black and white attire" a la Kim Kardashian. If you're having a theme wedding, it is perfectly acceptable to make a general request like "Beach Attire" or "Vintage Attire". But the line, in our opinion, is drawn at specifics. For example, "Ladies, please do not wear purple, red or navy dresses, as my bridesmaids will wear purple, my mother will wear red and my mother in law will wear navy," is unacceptable. No one will confuse a guest with a bridesmaid, mother of the bride, or mother in law. Remember, you want your guests to have fun, and if you try to dictate what they wear, they'll either not show up, or they'll come with a chip on their shoulder- neither of which you want!


Etiquette Question for Same-Sex Weddings



My partner and I are engaged! How do we decide on the wording for our invitations? 


We think you need to write what you feel fits you and your partner best. Here are some options: 

1. Traditional.  

Mr. and Mrs. ___________ (bride's parents) request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of their daughter ___________ (name) to ______________ (fiancee).

*Traditionally, the bride's parents were listed here implying that they were paying for the wedding. If you'd like to follow tradition, you can write the names of the parents who are giving the wedding. If both sets of parents are giving the wedding, you can list them alphabetically. Then just fill in the appropriate names in the spaces provided.

2. Contemporary.

___________ (partner's name) and _____________ (partner's name) request the pleasure of your company as they unite in marriage.... 

*This format is a little more modern, and let's guests know right off the bat who is getting married to whom. Simple and sweet. 

Once you figure out which format to use, don't forget the most important information: the date, the time and the location!! Oh, and the RSVP date! Happy planning!


Be Our Guest?


Who are you inviting to YOUR wedding? Does your dream day include being surrounded by all of your friends and family? Here's what you need to know about guest attendance: TheKnot.com says that couples getting married away can usually count on 50% of their invited guests to attend. So what does this mean for you? Although you may expect all of your invitees to make the trip to watch you tie the knot, the sad fact is that not everyone will be able to make it. In today's economy, not everyone has the extra money or vacation time to make the trip-- even though they may reaaaally want to be there. But, there are a few things you can do to improve your odds.

  1. Give notice!! Send those 'Save the Dates' out as soon as you pick a date. That way people will have time to plan and to save for the big event.
  2. Give options! It's perfectly fine if you want to get married at a swank resort-- it is your day, after all! Just make sure you have a few lodging options at different price points for your guests who may not be able to afford the creme de la creme. It may make the difference for them being there!
  3. Give money! If there are a handful of VIPs who simply must be there, it's a good idea to put a little bit of your wedding budget aside to assist them financially. They may not actually need your help but if they do, you'll be glad you thought ahead.

The great thing about destination weddings is that they have a funny sort of way of self-selecting and you are likely to end up with a fun-loving, adventurous, and vibrant bunch. When all is said and done, the perfect group of friends and family will emerge to celebrate with you. Remember not to take it personally if some of your guests don't make it-- we promise that your day will be spectacular no matter who is there!

P.S. Passport Invites and don't forget Wedding Etiquette: Call Guests With Late RSVPs?